Last week, one could hear whispers around the UGT circuit of the downfall and demise of a few stalwarts of the games. After a couple of weak weeks, Jim Larmore was beginning to get dismissed. It wasn't his year, some said. He was over the hill. This was a young man's game.

Then, a certain physician came to town.

Larimore was beaming as the pills tumbled out of Dr. Mario's hand and made their way down the jar. "I knew that this was my week to lose and I tried not to choke under that pressure," he said. While there were a few close calls - both Miotke and Kaiser provided some stiff competition - no one in the Premier League could quite match the speed and ability of Jim Larimore.

"Winning this week was huge," Jim said after the game, bursting with confidence. "I'm happy to be clearly visible in Dib's rear view mirror and look forward to shaking his nerves in the coming weeks."

A different story emerged in the Champions League this week, as John Berges - who had been running in the middle of the pack so far with decent performances in the first two weeks - surged to tie Gabe Rodriguez for the league lead with a win in Dr. Mario.

"I used to play a lot," Berges admits. "I was just hoping that I was still as good as I used to be. I knew that this was my first real chance to grab a W." His hopes were confirmed as he sliced through the other competitors to go undefeated with little real competition.

For the second week in a row, a winner complimented the play of Lyndsay Pearson, who was in quite a hole after her karBOOMsaster of a single point. Last week, crossover winner Alex Hetu commented on her ability to transition between poking and not, saying she had "incredible fighting game skills." This week, Berges admitted that he was "definitely most nervous about my matchup with her." Sitting 4 points back from the leaders, can Pearson continue to shine? Coming in second two weeks in a row has certainly made her a player to watch.

Due to a bout of sickness, the finals for the Crossover this week were delayed. They will held Tuesday, with Holmberg-Weidler hoping to repeat his first round victory over Houts to take the extra two points and the win. Does he think he can do it? "I beat Aaron once, and I can do it again!" Holmberg-Weidler said passionately. "Fuck yeah! I used to play Dr. Mario all the time." He continued to shout at our reporter as he tried to walk away. "Yellow is definitely the most menacing virus. Those cheeks freak me out!"

Houts was unavailable for comment as he had a fever that only got worse when he attempted to cure it by sticking many multicolored pills down a pill bottle that he then thrust into his mouth.

Lastly this week, we bid a sad but fond farewell to Kris Chiao. Kris, a competitor from the very beginning of season 1, has been a strong presence through each season, finishing in 2nd place in the first season and making the playoffs but being knocked out by eventual runner-up Jim Larimore in season 2. He had been having a bit of a rough start this season, but had to withdraw for personal and professional reasons. The UGT governing board is still deciding how this will affect the Premier League for the remainder of this season, but everyone here wishes Kris nothing but the best for his future endeavors.